Orphans Invade My Heart

Hey. My name is Carrie.  Yes, that is short for Caroline not Carolyn. Touchy issue. Haha. Anyway, I'm writing this blog post to share with you how Orphans have invaded my heart.

It was the summer after I graduated when God laid on my heart to be baptized. I asked Christ into my heart at a young age but it wasn't until I was about sixteen that I began a relationship with him.  So at the age of eighteen I decided it was necassary to completely commit my life to Christ and live all for him.  I wanted to lay down my old ways and walk with him.

 I went to my pastors house to discuss the coming baptism.  One of the first questions he asked me was if I liked children.  I grinned because I have always loved children.  Then he asked if I have ever considered missions. Many thoughts flooded my mind like: I could never do something that radical, I am not good enough for that, Only really spiritual people do those things.  But I simply said, no. I dismissed the thought until....

Orphan Sunday! God pounded me that day.  I was so emotional for these kids. I felt helpless and yet I knew I had to do something.  I just had to!  That is when it all started making sense....my love for children, Pastor Mike asking about missions, orphans.  I was gonna go on a missions trip. Yes. Me. Caroline (not Carolyn).  I shared the news with my new friend, Bethel. Little did I know that being exercise buddies would soon turn into a long lasting friendship.  She shared with me that she, also, had a heart for missions. No way!

A month had passed when I get a message from Bethel asking me to look at this website about missions trips.  I went over her house and we looked at it together.  We considered which trip to choose and decided on one to Ethiopia in July.  One in July would give us time to raise the money needed to go.  We applied for the trip but it still didn't feel real. Was I, Carolyn, actually gonna go on a missions trip? Uh, I mean Caroline.  We told our pastor and he was so excited for us.

Leading up to our departure God tested my faith on more than one occasion.  Each week we got a funding update. One week, when I got my email, it said I had raised $1,000.  At the bottom it said that we needed to have $200 in before next week so they could book flights.  The night befor the $200 deadline I got a call from one of the directors.  She left a message saying I did not have the needed funds to purchase the ticket and that if I waited too long it would get more expensive or seats would become unavailable.  I called back frantically and left a message saying that I did have enough for the tickets.  I tossed and turned all night waiting to hear from her again.  In the morning I emailed her and, finally, at noon, I heard from her.  She responded apologizing for causing worry and that the money was there.  She looked at the wrong date in the system.  Immediately it felt like a hundred pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I knew it was a test from God.  I apologized for not leaning on him and not putting my trust in him.

Another trial came when I was sitting in church and realized that the check I mailed to World Orphans did not have my trip code on the memo line.  Without my trip code the $600 I sent would go to the organization and not my trip.  My heart palpitated and I broke into a sweat. Sorry Mike, but I did not listen to you that Sunday.  After the service I emailed the director and told her the issue.  Time could not go any slower while I waited for a response.  My worry and anxiety brought me to tears.  Bethel tried to comfort me and I knew that I was not trusting my savior.  Eventually I had gotten an email back.  My check did not arrive in Colorado yet and they said that they would keep an eye out for it and would make sure that money made it to my account.

"Okay, God! I realize that you are testing my faith.  I see that I am not trusting you and I am only relying on my own strength. My strength fails me.  Help me to lean on you in every trial and commit my spirit to you.  I know you have a plan for my life and nothing can stop you from making your plan happen.  Remind me that this is your story and not my own."

Yet again I found myself not trusting him. It was a week before all of the funds were due and I still needed almost $700.  How was I supposed to get that money in a week?  I wasn't going to....but God did.  Through some very generous donations I got the money just in time.  In these trials I doubted God and his will for me to go.  But in the end He reigns and makes everything come to pass.  His timing is perfect and love amazing.  Just in the process of getting to this trip I grew tremendously.

Then we got to the airport in Allentown, PA............