Punching Fear In The Face

I've been fearful for as long as I can remember.  Things like mailing a package or making a phone call would cripple me with fear.  I knew deep inside of me that these were silly things to be afraid of but that didn't stop fear from consuming me.  It is hard to say how this started or why but recently I got fed up with being afraid ALL of the time.  I began praying adamantly every day that fear would no longer control me.  I also stopped fearful thoughts in their tracks and dismissed them from my brain. 

I believe that being fed up with my fear happened in perfect timing.  When I decided that I was done with fear I was beginning the book of Deuteronomy.  This is what I read:  Deuteronomy 1:17 "...Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God. Bring me any case too hard for you, and I will hear it." 

This is such a comfort that in my battle against this God hears me.  I confidently bring each case to Him knowing that He desires to hear them and He desires to show me His grace through these circumstances.  

 After a week of praying without ceasing I felt that fear no longer had a hold on me.  I went to care group that consists of people older and much wiser than I.  I was the only college aged person in the group but God carried me through my fear and I actually shared my thoughts with the group!! That is a BIG deal for me.  I went to Stronghold (college age group at my church) for years and never once have I shared my thoughts (willingly).  This was huge and it felt so amazing.  "God has done a great work in me," I thought.  As care group was coming to a close I was asked to pray.  Immediately I thought, "Oh no!.... No!  I AM doing this! Praise God."  I actually closed the group in prayer.  The entire ride home I was praising God that He has heard my cry and He was indeed answering my prayer.

This same week I went on a job interview that went well and they called me for a second interview.  During the second interview the manager told me they were going to go through and train me.  I had orientation and then I began working.  That entire process made me so nervous.  I could have given up but I was determined to conquer fear.  I pushed through constantly asking God to be with me.  Even just saying, "God!" in my head he knew.  I didn't have to say much he was there anyway. 

God has brought me such a long way but that does not mean I don't have fearful thoughts anymore.  In fact, I still have them every single day.  The difference is who I am putting my faith in.  I put my faith in the one and only true God who loves and cherishes me and has promised to keep me until the end.  I know that he is far greater than any situation I face.  He will never leave nor forsake me.  I am his daughter and he cares for me.  In Christ, I have nothing to fear!

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me. Psalm 56:3-4 

Do you actually believe that God hears you when you pray?  Really think about that question.  Do you believe He hears you?  Do you believe He cares?  Do you believe He can? 

He hears:  Psalms 6:9 The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer
He cares: 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
He can:   Ephesians 3:20 God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. 

The Psalms has encouraged me both with my fear and with prayer.  I also encourage you to dig into the Psalms.  You will see God's goodness, mercy, love, and strength.  

He hears you and He knows you!!

The Heart Of The Gospel

Having a heart for missions means I will be presenting the gospel a lot.  My pastor challenged me when he said we must be solid on this and really know it!  At first I was discouraged at the task in front of me but now it is actually exciting.  I picked up a book I started reading about four years ago, that I never finished, called What Is The Gospel? The title of the book was a good sign that I would be achieving my goal of being solid on the gospel. I re-started the book and I understood things that I overlooked before. Here are my findings so far. I'm basically copying from my note book and I sometimes write things word for word from the author into my notebook.  Credit to Greg Gilbert.


Greg Gilbert's Four Crucial Questions
1.  Who made us and to whom are we accountable?
2.  What is our problem?  Are we in trouble and why?
3.  What is God's solution to that problem?  How has he acted to save us from it?
4.  How do I come to be included in this salvation?

1. We are accountable to God

Romans 1:5 "...through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among the nations."

God created us, the world, and everything in the world so he reserves the right to be worshiped.  We are his people.  Our lives, in Christ, are to be obedient to him for the sake of his name.

Then Romans 1:21 says, "for although they knew God they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him..."  Here, Paul is pointing to the fact that we all have sinned by not honoring or thanking God.  We are to glorify and honor him, to live and speak and act and think in a way that acknowledges his great worth and power.  We are made by him, and for him.  We are dependent on him and therefore accountable to him.

2. The problem: we rebelled against God

Romans 1:18-20,22-23 "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. (God will punish our sin!!)  for what can be known about God is plain to them because God has shown it to them.  for his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made so they (we) are without excuse......Claiming to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."

Paul continues to press the point that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God through chapter three.  We are full of sin and can never be perfect like God's son. We fight sin all day, everyday. But we have no excuse to break Gods law. We are under his judgment. The punishment for sin is death and eternal torment.  "They shall suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might." (2 Thessalonians 1:9)

In life we make so many decision but fail to think about how our decisions effect our eternity.  We only care about the present or the immediate future.  When we stand before God the judge, every mouth will be silenced.  No one will mount a defense.  Not one excuse will be offered. The whole world- Jew, Gentile, every last one of us will be held accountable to God.

"We are not unfamiliar with falling short or failure. We have all failed. We've failed as fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, children, friends. Those all have grave consequences, so how much more do you think we will have to pay for falling short in front of Almighty God?" - Mike Conroy

This doesn't sound like good news but this bad news paves way for the good news.  The bad news is important because telling someone, "I'm coming to save you," is not good news unless they actually believe they need to be saved.

3. The solution to humanity's sin is the sacrificial death and resurrection of Jesus Christ

3:21 "but now (or in spite of your sin) the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law."

There is a way for human beings to be counted righteous before God instead of unrighteous, to be declared innocent instead of guilty, to be justified instead of condemned.  It has nothing to do with acting better or living more righteously.  It comes "apart from the law."  Despite our rebellion against God and in the face of a hopeless situation we can be, "justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." (3:24)  Because of Christ's death and resurrection and because of his life, sinners may be saved from the condemnation our sins deserve.

4. How to be included in this salvation

A sacrifice was needed to cover our sins.  We know that the sacrificing of animals in the old testament was not enough to cover our sins because they had to keep performing these sacrifices. (see Hebrews 10:1-3) The sacrificing of animals could only remind us that we were full of sin.  They did not bring God pleasure but foreshadowed something better that was to come.

A perfect sacrifice had to be made to pay for our sin once and for all.  We needed to be forgiven of all the sin we ever committed and the sin we are to commit in the future.  Partial forgiveness won't cut it.  Real forgiveness is forever.  There was no sacrifice perfect enough to please God so God sent HIS only son, his perfect son to be sacrificed for us.  Can you imagine the pain of a father losing his son and watching horrific acts being done to him?  This is serious.  God sent his son in whom he is well pleased, to die for people who reject him and dishonor his name. God's son died to save people that forget God and go about a life pleasing to themselves rather than God.  He knew his son was the only way and had to die in order to save us.  What great mercy and grace he has shown for us!

Romans 3:25-26 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.  It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

Jesus offered himself for the payment of our filthy sin one time and the work was completed.  Jesus' blood was shed to cover all our sin and it is by him that we are saved and can have a relationship with God the father.  He is the only way to be delivered from the wrath of God.

Who is this saving work for?

The benefits from the saving work of Christ belong to the ones who repent and trust in him. "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out."

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." (Romans 1:16)

The salvation God provides comes "through faith in Jesus Christ," and it is "for all who believe." (Romans 3:22)

"To the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly....his faith is counted as righteous."  (Romans 4:5)

Scriptures tells us many ways we are to live and follow Christ like we must obey God, deny ourselves, love Christ more than anything, flee from sin ect. ect.  But because we are not saved by works there must be something that ties this all together.  It is the awesome reality of saving faith.  Trusting in the pardon of God, the promises of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, not ourselves.

Stripped of Innocence

      I huddled over Maalik on the red, African dirt staring directly down the barrel of a gun held by my other son, Badru. His nine year old arms could barely hold it up when he was commanded by the LRA to shoot me and his baby brother.  Badru shook violently at the decision in front of him being pressured by the rebel that was screaming in his ear to kill us or he would kill us, Badru included.  I felt helpless for my little boy.  A nine year old should not have to make the decision between life or death knowing that if he wanted to live he would have to kill his family.  All I could do is lay there with Maalik in my arms and cry until my fate arrived.  

     Most of our village had already been destroyed.  The screams of my neighbors slowly died down to nothing.  By the blazes of our homes I see mothers, fathers and infants scattered on the ground.  The young boys had been gathered by the rebels and handed guns before entering the jeep.  Young girls were gathered to be used as sex slaves.  My boy was next to join the group.

    Through my clouded eyes I saw a rebel jab my little boy in the back with the butt of his gun egging him on.  I knew it was gonna happen any second so I clutched Maalik in my arms and told him I loved him.  I stroked the top of his warm head and hummed his favorite lullaby for the remainder of our time together.

In one second I heard the bang of the gun and Badru screaming at the top of his lungs. "I love you," he choked.  My shoulder writhed in pain but my heart did more. I felt faint and my vision blurred but I saw a rebel drag Badru to the jeep and toss him in with the other children.  The jeep pulled out with new members to their army.  Knowing that my little Badru would be forced to kill and rape caused me more pain than the marble sized hole in my shoulder that was gushing with blood.

      The village felt still and yet I could still hear the screams of mothers losing their children and boys being tortured to death by their brother.  The flames from our homes continued to light the village.  A few children came out from hiding to look for their parents only to find them dead.  There was one familiar cry that I did not hear.  Maalik lay under me shaking in stunned silence.  He remained physically unscathed but his heart would torment him forever.