With Christmas just here (a time for family) a dark cloud hovered over me and darkened my spirit. Some families do not spend Christmas together whether it's because they live somewhere far away or you don't get a long. It felt so unnatural. Why was my Christmas like this? I was down in the dumps for a while until I realized God wanted me to be transparent with my best friend. (He did, after all, give me one for a reason).
I laid it all bare to her. Every anger, doubt and insecurity. Was it my fault? She shared tears with me and spoke truth into my bones. She said something about her own situation that I never thought of before. "God hated the situation but it was necessary." I didn't realize he hated it. He felt my pain. He shared my tears. He held on to me when my grip was wearing thin.
Though I don't have the answers to why my particular story has this chapter, God revealed so much to me. He wants us to be transparent! It is so incredibly important to seek counsel and wisdom from your brothers and sisters in Christ. We are called to encourage and bear each others burdens. So do not build up walls! Let someone in. This wall you build may help you avoid hurt but it is also keeping out any sense of hope. The thicker I made my wall the darker my world became. I was searching for satisfaction in this world because I would not let the love of Christ in.
Here's the catch. In order to lay yourself bare you must first build relationships with people in your church body. Scary for you introverted people, I know! You probably built walls because you're introverted. If the thought of you approaching someone is too scary begin to pray that God would give you a friendship that honors him. I say that to avoid the thought of you guys finding friends only to vent all your problems to. It's so much more than that! (I may have a new post idea, huh?) Anyway! If you do have a close friend that God has blessed you with do not be afraid to be transparent with them. Don't leave it to them to break down your wall! They may not realize there is a wall to be broken. Do them a favor by beginning the demolition yourself. Let them see that there is, indeed, something that needs uncovering.
I can't explain to you what a blessing it was to share that I was struggling. The comfort that flooded my body afterwards was as if God was saying, "Was that so bad?" As every insecurity, doubt, and anger came rolling off my tongue both Bethel and God were sharing the weight that had been dragging me down. These moments of tears were followed but intense joy and satisfaction in Christ. The situation did not change when I shared it but my hope did! God was my hope. He was present and he comforted me. He gave me joy (yes, joy) in such a wild time. The joy I have in Christ transcends every doubt, insecurity and question I have in this life. Praise God for his goodness!!! Amen!!
I laid it all bare to her. Every anger, doubt and insecurity. Was it my fault? She shared tears with me and spoke truth into my bones. She said something about her own situation that I never thought of before. "God hated the situation but it was necessary." I didn't realize he hated it. He felt my pain. He shared my tears. He held on to me when my grip was wearing thin.
Though I don't have the answers to why my particular story has this chapter, God revealed so much to me. He wants us to be transparent! It is so incredibly important to seek counsel and wisdom from your brothers and sisters in Christ. We are called to encourage and bear each others burdens. So do not build up walls! Let someone in. This wall you build may help you avoid hurt but it is also keeping out any sense of hope. The thicker I made my wall the darker my world became. I was searching for satisfaction in this world because I would not let the love of Christ in.
Galatians 6:2
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ
Here's the catch. In order to lay yourself bare you must first build relationships with people in your church body. Scary for you introverted people, I know! You probably built walls because you're introverted. If the thought of you approaching someone is too scary begin to pray that God would give you a friendship that honors him. I say that to avoid the thought of you guys finding friends only to vent all your problems to. It's so much more than that! (I may have a new post idea, huh?) Anyway! If you do have a close friend that God has blessed you with do not be afraid to be transparent with them. Don't leave it to them to break down your wall! They may not realize there is a wall to be broken. Do them a favor by beginning the demolition yourself. Let them see that there is, indeed, something that needs uncovering.
Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved
I can't explain to you what a blessing it was to share that I was struggling. The comfort that flooded my body afterwards was as if God was saying, "Was that so bad?" As every insecurity, doubt, and anger came rolling off my tongue both Bethel and God were sharing the weight that had been dragging me down. These moments of tears were followed but intense joy and satisfaction in Christ. The situation did not change when I shared it but my hope did! God was my hope. He was present and he comforted me. He gave me joy (yes, joy) in such a wild time. The joy I have in Christ transcends every doubt, insecurity and question I have in this life. Praise God for his goodness!!! Amen!!
Mathew 11:28-30
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
