The relationships God puts in our lives are well worth noticing. We are usually so use to them that we forget to look around and see what we have. But as you look you will find that He has put people in your life that are exactly what you needed. He's equipping us for trials, and taking up our cross and following Him.
This sunday I rediscovered just how beautifully designed my friendship with Carrie is. We had gotten some discouraging news, which now that I look back at it, isn't as big of a deal as I felt that it was. We found out that the organization we have been working towards working with for months now was no longer an option.
I was emotionally exhausted and disappointed, ready to just collapse. We went from church to my friend Rachel's house and cooked ourselves some lunch. I immediately put some worship music on and we both just kind of let God make sense of what we didn't want to.
We sat there, just the two of us, eating lunch not saying a thing. Just listening to the worship music, every once in a while we would sing along. Then Carrie broke the silence and said "You know it's actually exciting. Just think, God has something so much better planned for us!" I looked at her and nearly burst. Her faith totally blew me away and was exactly what my heart needed to hear. It brought me back to the truth. God is good all the time and He withholds no good thing from us! So this means, just as she said, that God has something so much greater planned for us.
I have learned over and over again that trusting God when it doesn't make sense always turns into something beautiful. And what looks to be a dark and lonely path is a path I walk with Jesus who is the very Light of the world. This particular setback is not really that big of deal. We will find another organization and we will still get back to Ethiopia. God will get us there. But this very small test helped me see how Carrie and I would deal with a big one. It's encouraging to know that I'm not going to be alone.
Many Godly woman that people just consider to be sweet turn out to be some of the bravest and wisest woman I know. My Mother, the widows I met in Korah, and my best friend Carrie.
They are filled with unbelievable faith and they know God in such an intimate way because of this faith. Just as the disciples had a much more personal relationship with Jesus than the thousands who filled the streets to sing Hosanna. Because they actually believed that Jesus was the Messiah. These woman have inspired me and I hope I become more like them.
I praise God for putting such a brave, faithful woman of God into my life. He has given me just what I needed. I couldn't imagine, going on this journey alone. Just as Naomi needed Ruth, I need Carrie. She is such a valuable gift to me. And I pray that I can return the favor by encouraging and loving her as Jesus has loved me. That we may always point each other towards Christ.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Consider It Pure Joy
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
The news that the three of us received concerning our trip came as a bit of a shock. In short, we will not be using the organization that we have intended on using. We are in the process of finding other opportunities with other ministries.
"For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for," 2 Corinthians 13:9.
We have been so incredibly blessed by our church family. Their willingness and enthusiasm to help and serve us has us overwhelmed with joy. They joined us in our passion for the orphan with joy. And now they joined us in our trial, willing to help carry the burden. It reminds us of how Jesus has loved us and reveals just how special the body is. Think about it. We get to love each other like Christ loved us. He enables this love that knows no bounds. We are so thankful for God's work in our lives and how He has used our church body: our family. ~Bethel
The love and support we see in these relationships is stunning. I am blown away by the encouragement and work these people have invested in getting us back to Ethiopia. They care so much for us. It isn't a good deed for them to help us. Their hearts long to help us in every way that they can. I am so grateful for this church family and all of the relationships we have.
To most people this trial would be a reason to give up but it makes me that much more excited to see what God has planned for us. I can't imagine how great his plan is. None can fathom his marvelous work.
"Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3
This trial is helping me to lay down myself. I like to plan and have things mapped out, ready to go. But I am not in control. God is in control. Like the song lyrics: "The secret mysteries belong to you. We only know what you reveal." We don't have to have all the answers. We just need to have faith and trust God in his almighty power.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord, All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:1-3
God is good and he will not withhold any good thing from us. This heart for the orphan was placed in all of our hearts from God. He will get us there. Everything that comes our way leading up to the trip, during the trip, and for the rest of our lives is meant to bring glory to his name. What a blessing this trial is. He has revealed so much more in such a short amount of time. He has made simple truths come alive. I am not afraid. I am amazed by God and so excited to see his work displayed. I lay myself down!
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see," Hebrews 11:1.
When we are leaving is unknown. What we will be doing is unknown. How much money and what we'll need is unknown.... by us. God knows! Nothing is a surprise to him.
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
"Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?" Job 11:7
What reason have I to doubt
Why would I dwell in fear
When all I have known is grace
My future in Christ is clear....
....I don't know what lies ahead
What if I fail again
You are my confidence
You'll keep me to the end
James 1:2-4
The news that the three of us received concerning our trip came as a bit of a shock. In short, we will not be using the organization that we have intended on using. We are in the process of finding other opportunities with other ministries.
"For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for," 2 Corinthians 13:9.
We have been so incredibly blessed by our church family. Their willingness and enthusiasm to help and serve us has us overwhelmed with joy. They joined us in our passion for the orphan with joy. And now they joined us in our trial, willing to help carry the burden. It reminds us of how Jesus has loved us and reveals just how special the body is. Think about it. We get to love each other like Christ loved us. He enables this love that knows no bounds. We are so thankful for God's work in our lives and how He has used our church body: our family. ~Bethel
The love and support we see in these relationships is stunning. I am blown away by the encouragement and work these people have invested in getting us back to Ethiopia. They care so much for us. It isn't a good deed for them to help us. Their hearts long to help us in every way that they can. I am so grateful for this church family and all of the relationships we have.
To most people this trial would be a reason to give up but it makes me that much more excited to see what God has planned for us. I can't imagine how great his plan is. None can fathom his marvelous work.
"Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3
This trial is helping me to lay down myself. I like to plan and have things mapped out, ready to go. But I am not in control. God is in control. Like the song lyrics: "The secret mysteries belong to you. We only know what you reveal." We don't have to have all the answers. We just need to have faith and trust God in his almighty power.
"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9
"The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord, All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established." Proverbs 16:1-3
God is good and he will not withhold any good thing from us. This heart for the orphan was placed in all of our hearts from God. He will get us there. Everything that comes our way leading up to the trip, during the trip, and for the rest of our lives is meant to bring glory to his name. What a blessing this trial is. He has revealed so much more in such a short amount of time. He has made simple truths come alive. I am not afraid. I am amazed by God and so excited to see his work displayed. I lay myself down!
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see," Hebrews 11:1.
When we are leaving is unknown. What we will be doing is unknown. How much money and what we'll need is unknown.... by us. God knows! Nothing is a surprise to him.
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Ecclesiastes 3:11
"Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?" Job 11:7
What reason have I to doubt
Why would I dwell in fear
When all I have known is grace
My future in Christ is clear....
....I don't know what lies ahead
What if I fail again
You are my confidence
You'll keep me to the end
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Response to Scars and Struggles On the Way
Read Bethel's blog before reading this one.
After I read Bethel's blog it reminded me of how our friendship was definitely ordained by God (As said in my last post). We really do compliment each other very well. In the situation Bethel just wrote about I am so discouraged and frustrated that If I didn't have her as a best friend I would have given up despite knowing the truth that if God wants me to go he is gonna make a way for me to go. Sometimes, even when you know that truth, it is still difficult to lean on the Lord. My prayer is to feel God's peace and trust him that his plan is far greater than anything I can imagine.
As in Job 5:8-9 As for me, I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number.
Maybe this plan that the three of us are forming is nothing at all what God has planned. Maybe, when we get there, he is gonna have us doing something different than we intended. Or having us stay a different amount of time than we thought. Ultimately, God is in control. We can plan to physically go to Ethiopia but the details belong to him.
On our last trip we met a man who had moved to Ethiopia. He didn't like the idea of living in Ethiopia. When his wife brought up the idea he was totally against it saying, "I don't want to live in Ethiopia, learn Amharic and I am not good with kids." But after having a convicting dream, he shared with his wife that he would like to form and pastor a church in Ethiopia. She was thrilled. They moved there and everything that could go wrong with forming the church went wrong. Then God and his plan came in. This man was called to start a daycare. "If I knew that I was going to be working with kids all the time I would not have come," he said. "I am not good with kids but I am a pastor and that is what I am comfortable with." God gave him the heart to go to Ethiopia but when he got there God had a different plan for him. If he knew God's plan ahead of time he wouldn't have wanted to go but now he loves what he is doing. He is living in Ethiopia, learning Amharic, and enjoying each day with children.
I think about this story a lot. As much as we can plan, plan, plan... God is the one in control. I struggle with this a lot because I like to plan. I like things to be organized and thought through and done way in advance. I like to have things ready before it is time to put things into action. Don't get me wrong. I am not as boring as this sounds. I can live on edge too. I just live on edge in an organized manner. haha
As you can tell, there is so much going through my mind and this new trial about money has me going crazy. Right now we could really use your prayers. We need wisdom in making decisions and, also, comfort in the fact that God has this in the palm of his hands. Thank you so much.
And again... because I love this verse.
As for me, I would seek God, and to God would I commit my cause, who does great things and unsearchable, marvelous things without number.
Job 5:8-9 (ESV)
and because I like comparing versions
But if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. (NIV)
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Scars And Struggles On The Way
Today was a really frustrating day. I had a stressful day and then came home to a stressful email about funds for Ethiopia. I wanted to throw things through my TV to be honest.
Raising awareness for the orphan is something I loooove to do! But when it comes to fundraising, I think it's hands down the worst part of a mission trip. People have been telling me that maybe it's a sign that God doesn't want me in Ethiopia right now, maybe I'm moving too fast. And these are people I respect and trust. But surprisingly I have felt nothing but the opposite.
The roadblocks and stress just remind me how I was built to do this. It shows me that this is exactly what He wants me to be doing. Every time I hit another roadblock it just fuels the fire. Yes, it might be harder to get there than I want it to be, but I'm not going to give in. He set my heart on fire and no amount of stress will put that fire out. I will not despair, He's going to get me there.
I'm so glad that it's God's plan and not my own because if it were my plan I would be there right now without any hardship. And without that hardship, I would have not seen this passion grow, and get more intense. I'm not content to stay here and talk everyone's head off with my passion, I want to do something with that passion. I want to be there, I want to love them. I want to be so completely spent each night from pouring everything I have into these children's lives and wake up the next morning with joy knowing I get to do it all over again.
In the midst of all this awful, stressful, fundraising something beautiful is happening: He is creating an unbreakable passion for His mission. With ever nock down I just want to get back up faster. With every disappointment I just want to get right back up on my feet again. I don't want to give up. Haha, how weird is that? I spent most of my life just giving up.
This journey has been full of joy too. So many people have come around us. They have not just supported us but encouraged us. Our church's outpouring of love and passion has been so beautiful to see. This past sunday one of the little girls from my sunday school class came up to me and told me that she was going to sell her homemade donuts and give all the money to me for my trip to Ethiopia..... I mean how amazing is that. There are few things I love more than when God works through children and fills them with His passion for the poor and needy.
The best part is that He is here every step of the way. The same God who put me on this crazy, scary, amazing path is going to complete what He started. And that is one of the most beautiful promised, that I get to walk with Him every step of the way. He's the reason the desire to love the orphans is there in the first place. If you take Him out of the picture, you won't find me loving the orphan. But He is with me. He will be with me through every frustrating night, and for every joyful morning.
So I'm going to keep singing till He gets me back where I need to be...
"Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful"
Raising awareness for the orphan is something I loooove to do! But when it comes to fundraising, I think it's hands down the worst part of a mission trip. People have been telling me that maybe it's a sign that God doesn't want me in Ethiopia right now, maybe I'm moving too fast. And these are people I respect and trust. But surprisingly I have felt nothing but the opposite.
The roadblocks and stress just remind me how I was built to do this. It shows me that this is exactly what He wants me to be doing. Every time I hit another roadblock it just fuels the fire. Yes, it might be harder to get there than I want it to be, but I'm not going to give in. He set my heart on fire and no amount of stress will put that fire out. I will not despair, He's going to get me there.
I'm so glad that it's God's plan and not my own because if it were my plan I would be there right now without any hardship. And without that hardship, I would have not seen this passion grow, and get more intense. I'm not content to stay here and talk everyone's head off with my passion, I want to do something with that passion. I want to be there, I want to love them. I want to be so completely spent each night from pouring everything I have into these children's lives and wake up the next morning with joy knowing I get to do it all over again.
In the midst of all this awful, stressful, fundraising something beautiful is happening: He is creating an unbreakable passion for His mission. With ever nock down I just want to get back up faster. With every disappointment I just want to get right back up on my feet again. I don't want to give up. Haha, how weird is that? I spent most of my life just giving up.
Part of me feels like no one can understand this desire I have because they don't understand my relationship with Jesus, what He's done for me. They weren't there when He called me to love them, they don't know the weight of this gift. Or how specifically He has designed me for this. How can they know? But I'm sure there are many before me who have felt the exact same way.
This journey has been full of joy too. So many people have come around us. They have not just supported us but encouraged us. Our church's outpouring of love and passion has been so beautiful to see. This past sunday one of the little girls from my sunday school class came up to me and told me that she was going to sell her homemade donuts and give all the money to me for my trip to Ethiopia..... I mean how amazing is that. There are few things I love more than when God works through children and fills them with His passion for the poor and needy.
The best part is that He is here every step of the way. The same God who put me on this crazy, scary, amazing path is going to complete what He started. And that is one of the most beautiful promised, that I get to walk with Him every step of the way. He's the reason the desire to love the orphans is there in the first place. If you take Him out of the picture, you won't find me loving the orphan. But He is with me. He will be with me through every frustrating night, and for every joyful morning.
So I'm going to keep singing till He gets me back where I need to be...
"Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful"
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friendships Are A Gift From God
God is so good. He has every detail of our lives planned. The relationship I have with Bethel is definitely a precious gift from God. Long before I met her, long before I was born God knew what our friendship would look like. Just this past year we have grown so close and also grown in Christ. God gave us each other for counsel and fellowship and simply a quality friendship.
It started about this time last year. We both wanted to start exercising consistently so we decided to get together and play Just Dance at least three times a week. This was the extent of our friendship. We both went to Orphan Sunday at our church in November and the next time we worked out together we started to talk about what God did in our hearts that day. This is when we began to consider going on a missions trip.
Bethel and I work so well together. I am a good organizer but I lack the ambition to follow through with my own plans. Bethel takes ideas or plans and she runs with them. She has such drive to get things done. When I felt like giving up she was inspired. We mesh so well together. She helped me keep going when I felt insecure. With every frustration she was there comforting me and giving me good counsel. We spent a lot of time in prayer and worship leading up to the trip.
In Ethiopia, God broke us to pieces. He tore our hearts in so many ways. We ache for those people and that city. In this brokenness, we were able to come together in praise to worship our Almighty Father. With every emotion that flooded our hearts, we were able to turn them to Christ. Having a friend who knows exactly what your heart is feeling is so helpful to keep you accountable. She was able to help me remember to praise God even when times seem rough and I felt helpless for those people. She has the leadership gift to turn every situation back to Christ. For this I am so thankful.
Since being home, Bethel continues to encourage me in my walk with Christ and loves me as her friend and sister. She always knows how to comfort me. Story time!
The day came when we were to share with Grace Fellowship the stories from our trip. I was a nervous wreck... to say the least! I loathe speaking in front of people. All morning I was having strong anxiety. My body was shaking and nothing could snap me out of it. After church, I went to Bethel's. I didn't talk much (I am a very quiet person when I am upset). Based on the way I was acting she knew that the thing I needed was laughter. She put in a funny movie with one of my favorite actors. She knows me so well!
Another day, I stopped by her house after a hard day at work. I walked in kind of miserable. She mentioned that I left my bible and all my books there the previous night. Without my books, I had not spent time with God that day. She put on worship music to encourage me. I wept with joy. Just being in the presence of God completely changes your attitude. My mood flipped right around and I sang praises to my God.
These are only two of many occasions that Bethel has ministered to me as a sister in Christ. We have bonded more in this one year than I have bonded with someone else in many years. God put us together to encourage and support each other. He has mighty plans. I so look forward to see where he takes our friendship as we travel back to Ethiopia and live there together for a year.
Bethel: I am so blessed to have you as my friend. Thank you for always encouraging me and making Christ the center of all our situations. Thanks for putting up with my quirky personality and loving me no matter how weird I get. Thanks for being completely blunt when I am wrong or when I am just being ridiculous. I am so excited to serve God in Ethiopia with you. I pray that our friendship will continue to bring glory to God and that we can be a witness of Christ to our peers.
~Carrie
Sunday, October 21, 2012
My Konjo Little Girl
Konjo
I was holding her in the middle of a crowded room but it seemed like we were the only two around. Her infectious laughter drowned out all the other noise in the room. Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks turned pink after seconds of tickling. It was instant love.
I couldn't get enough of her giggles. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her so I used the little Amharic that I learned. Konjo. Konjo. Konjo. I had to have said it a hundred times. Being told you're beautiful is always nice but I wonder what she was thinking after the first twenty times I said it. I'm pretty sure she didn't get sick of it. Each time she beamed with gladness. With each grin came the dimples and blushed cheeks that I just couldn't get enough of. I kissed her forehead and there it was again.
Konjo. Konjo. Konjo. I flipped her upside down, tickled her and swung her up again. She loved it. It wasn't long before she started to swing herself back. She was having so much fun. I guess she wanted to make sure I was having fun too because she started to tickle me back. But she would tickle me in the middle of my neck where it hurts to be poked. I would have felt so bad if she knew that her huge efforts to make me happy actually caused some pain so I grabbed her little brown fingers in my hand and kissed them. I looked her in those deep chocolate eyes and ......yes... I said it....Konjo!! She was so beautiful and I wanted her to know that. I hope that, even if I never get to see her again, she will always remember that she is so beautiful.
The whole time I was holding her there were no words exchanged. I don't know her name. I don't know her age. I don't know if she is a kid off the street or a child in the church. I don't know if she has family or if she does not. But I love her and it aches to think I may not see her even when I do go back. I pray that if she doesn't have a home that God would provide her with one. And if she does have one, I pray that it is filled with love and Christ is at the center.
Random thoughts I'm having:
Child of the church- I will probably see her again because we want to attend that church when we go back.
Child from the streets- She at least knows about the church because she came when we were doing the vbs styled thing there. Since she knows about the church she has a good resource if there were any trouble and she may just come back again.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Gift of Receiving
Many people enjoy receiving gifts. That wasn't the case for me. I used to dread receiving gifts to the point where I would get high anxiety over it. But preparing for our first trip taught me that receiving is also a blessing. It is a blessing to the receiver as well as the giver. I learned that declining gifts can void the giver of a beautiful blessing.
It was about a week before the full amount for the trip was due and I still needed a few hundred dollars. A close friend offered to give me half of it but there was no way I could take $300 dollars from her. I refused. Then a friend told me that refusing a gift would deny her of a blessing. She really didn't mind giving it. She had no attachment to the money. After our yard sale and a few donations from friends, I was only left with needing $60. That was much more reasonable to ask for from my friend. Through this I learned that I was not taking money from her it was willingly given to me.
That was not the end of the lesson God was teaching me. In Ethiopia it is considered an insult to not accept what they offer. "Okay... no big deal. I'll just accept a few things while I'm there for two weeks." Wrong! Turns out they also enjoy giving all of the time. Every day I was offered countless things.
One day, when we got out of our vans, each kid picked one of us and stayed with that person the whole day. The boy that was with me was named Mesfin. He would take my bag off my back and carry it for me. Then, he took my hand and helped me walk through the uneven terrain. We sat down in the main room and the first thing he does is grab a silly band off of his wrist and put it on mine. The next day I got to see him again. I made him a bracelet to show him that I loved him and what does he do? He takes the necklace off his neck and puts it around mine. Ahhh. The non stop giving. It won't stop.
Another day, we brought all of these crafts for the kids. I sat with them while they colored or made bracelets. I watched and played with them. When it was time to leave I got drawings from many of the kids. They kept coming up to me and giving me their artwork. It didn't make sense to me. We brought the stuff for them but they were so willing to give us what they made. Every time I gave one of my drawings to a kid I would get two in return. Then a boy came up to me and told me to hold out my wrist. He took the bracelet he made and tied it around my wrist. I wanted to bawl my eyes out. These kids really understand love.
At every meal we were asked to get seconds and sometimes thirds. But for some reason I forgot that on one of the last days. The church we visited made this huge meal for us. To not be rude I filled up my first plate to the brim and ate all of it. When my plate was gone I was so full that if I ate anymore I would burst. Not even thirty seconds later did the church elder ask me to get more. "Eat much," he said. Slowly and a little hunched, I walked up to get more food. I just put a few things on my plate and ate very slowly. How could I forget that they would ask me to get more?
By the end of the trip I really didn't mind receiving things anymore. I looked forward to the three rounds of coffee they served after every meal and the popcorn that accompanied it. God really helped me to see that gifts are meant to be given. In order for them to be given I must receive them. What a blessing this lesson was.
Coming home didn't end this lesson. This time I got to be on the outside of an exchange. When I was working there was an old lady that could not pay for her groceries. She counted out all of her change and got half of her total. The man behind her offered to give her the rest but she said no. He offered again and she refused. He clearly was doing it out of more than just kindness. He sincerely wanted to help her with the rest of the money. It was only a few more dollars but she wouldn't take it. I had to cancel the order and she said that she would come back later for the groceries. This showed me that pride is what stops us from receiving what could be an amazing blessing. If the woman accepted this man's gift then she wouldn't of had to go home to get more money and come all the way back.
I think I've grown significantly in this area. There are times where I still find it hard to receive but I have definitely come a long way and it is only by God's grace.
It was about a week before the full amount for the trip was due and I still needed a few hundred dollars. A close friend offered to give me half of it but there was no way I could take $300 dollars from her. I refused. Then a friend told me that refusing a gift would deny her of a blessing. She really didn't mind giving it. She had no attachment to the money. After our yard sale and a few donations from friends, I was only left with needing $60. That was much more reasonable to ask for from my friend. Through this I learned that I was not taking money from her it was willingly given to me.
That was not the end of the lesson God was teaching me. In Ethiopia it is considered an insult to not accept what they offer. "Okay... no big deal. I'll just accept a few things while I'm there for two weeks." Wrong! Turns out they also enjoy giving all of the time. Every day I was offered countless things.
One day, when we got out of our vans, each kid picked one of us and stayed with that person the whole day. The boy that was with me was named Mesfin. He would take my bag off my back and carry it for me. Then, he took my hand and helped me walk through the uneven terrain. We sat down in the main room and the first thing he does is grab a silly band off of his wrist and put it on mine. The next day I got to see him again. I made him a bracelet to show him that I loved him and what does he do? He takes the necklace off his neck and puts it around mine. Ahhh. The non stop giving. It won't stop.
Another day, we brought all of these crafts for the kids. I sat with them while they colored or made bracelets. I watched and played with them. When it was time to leave I got drawings from many of the kids. They kept coming up to me and giving me their artwork. It didn't make sense to me. We brought the stuff for them but they were so willing to give us what they made. Every time I gave one of my drawings to a kid I would get two in return. Then a boy came up to me and told me to hold out my wrist. He took the bracelet he made and tied it around my wrist. I wanted to bawl my eyes out. These kids really understand love.
At every meal we were asked to get seconds and sometimes thirds. But for some reason I forgot that on one of the last days. The church we visited made this huge meal for us. To not be rude I filled up my first plate to the brim and ate all of it. When my plate was gone I was so full that if I ate anymore I would burst. Not even thirty seconds later did the church elder ask me to get more. "Eat much," he said. Slowly and a little hunched, I walked up to get more food. I just put a few things on my plate and ate very slowly. How could I forget that they would ask me to get more?
By the end of the trip I really didn't mind receiving things anymore. I looked forward to the three rounds of coffee they served after every meal and the popcorn that accompanied it. God really helped me to see that gifts are meant to be given. In order for them to be given I must receive them. What a blessing this lesson was.
Coming home didn't end this lesson. This time I got to be on the outside of an exchange. When I was working there was an old lady that could not pay for her groceries. She counted out all of her change and got half of her total. The man behind her offered to give her the rest but she said no. He offered again and she refused. He clearly was doing it out of more than just kindness. He sincerely wanted to help her with the rest of the money. It was only a few more dollars but she wouldn't take it. I had to cancel the order and she said that she would come back later for the groceries. This showed me that pride is what stops us from receiving what could be an amazing blessing. If the woman accepted this man's gift then she wouldn't of had to go home to get more money and come all the way back.
I think I've grown significantly in this area. There are times where I still find it hard to receive but I have definitely come a long way and it is only by God's grace.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Ethiopia!!
Why Ethiopia? Well for me, I had always had a heart for Africa, since I was a little girl I had always been drawn there. I rented movies about them, bought books, and I was always studying about Africa. I just always have loved them, their cultures, their music, their dances, but most of all the people. (That didn't change once I actually got to Africa, it only increased.) After God opened my heart up to the orphan, I had to get to Africa. So now it was just a matter of choosing where in Africa.
When I looked Ethiopia up on google I saw a lot of sights and pictures depicting Ethiopia as forgotten. I saw them described as not important enough. And people who lived in Korah (a village or slum in Ethiopia) were labeled "the untouchables or cursed." My heart was drawn to Ethiopia because I knew first of how Jesus sees them, totally worth it! And second because I knew what it was like to be deemed as worthless and to be forgotten about.
Carrie and I land in Ethiopia...... how can I describe to you the people I met there?! It's funny what the world likes to describe as not important enough. I have never met people so undeserving of that title. They are amazing. Their faith blew me away, and their caring hearts humbled me.
The Christ Followers of Ethiopia will give you everything they have just because you shook their hand or entered into their home. They taught me what it means to be thankful, we in America don't even understands what gratitude is. But they did, they got what Jesus had done for them so much more than we do! They showed me what it is to value Jesus more than life. I'll give you a little example.
In one of the orphanages we visited they told us the story of a little boy who had been there. His mother came back with all the papers and said I can now take care of my son.(That never happens; most never come back.) They say okay let us go talk to him. So they tell him your mother has come back for you but he said "But my mother is a muslim and I serve Jesus now. I cannot go with her." They said alright can you tell your mother that, and he went and told his mother that...... Wow! To look at everything you have, and every child's dream there and say I'd rather have Jesus! What faith, He truly knew that Jesus is the richest treasure you can have. We honestly don't know what we have in Christ, we have no idea how valuable He is.
As we praised Jesus with them, I saw their brokeness before God and I recognized it. I realized that there really isn't that much of a difference between us. You know those war movies where all the people come from all over, from all different kind of backgrounds and cultures to stand against the present evil in front of them. The beautiful sense of unity that happens and in no other circumstances would that unity occur, except for this enemy coming against them. They are united in their fight for good. Its my favorite part of the movie. Well here I found there was this unity that rivaled any amazing war movie, all human beings are tied together in this, our need for Jesus. Our unity is so special and unbreakable because it is held together by Jesus.
One of the church elders we met on this trip told me something beauitful. We are all one body, held together by the same Spirit, and we are here for the same mission, to glorify His name. We are no different, we are all one. I saw a brief glimpse of heaven where we all cry out: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, as we all cried out together: God, You've lifted me out and I'll tell the whole world!
We saw many hard things, the poverty and living conditions were heartbreaking. We saw many who were without Christ and in desperate need of Him. There was such a deep need for love. But everywhere we went His light was shining somehow, and though, it may have come from our mouths- we only testified to the True Light. The beauty of it was we all came to share with those who were broken, lonely, and thirsty of when we had been broken, lonely, and thristy and the One who gave us everlasting water.
You see, all followers of Christ have at some point been so broken and helpless that they relized their hopelessness. You didn't have to be in a bad situation or have a horrific story. That darkness we all were in is our own sin. But when God steps in and pulls you out of the pit of your own sin, you know how undeserving you are and you feel the weight of this gift of grace being given to you.
In Luke 7:36-50, the pharisees have invited Jesus into their home and when a sinful woman hears that Jesus is in that house,she comes to Him. She brings with her ointment and starts weeping at His feet and washing them with her tears and her hair. When the pharisees saw this they were angered, "Jesus don't you know that she is a filthy sinner? And Jesus said.....
“Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”
“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
He who is forgiven much, loves much. That's all of us broken sinners. That's how grace overflows from our lives, and we cannot stop rejoicing and declaring His love to everyone. Because we have been forgiven much, we love much. That's why I love the orphan, because I was one and He adopted me. That's why I love, because He first loved me. We are all united in this grace He has given, and we will not stop shouting it to the world.
All the orphans I met could not contain their joy when you spent time with them and loved them. They did not act as if it were something they were owed, they acted as if it was something they did not deserve and it was the most precious gift they had ever received. That's is the exact picture of what we ought to look like when we see what Jesus has done for us. I have been forgiven much, so I will love much. I cannot contain my joy, or keep my heart from overflowing.
When I looked Ethiopia up on google I saw a lot of sights and pictures depicting Ethiopia as forgotten. I saw them described as not important enough. And people who lived in Korah (a village or slum in Ethiopia) were labeled "the untouchables or cursed." My heart was drawn to Ethiopia because I knew first of how Jesus sees them, totally worth it! And second because I knew what it was like to be deemed as worthless and to be forgotten about.
Carrie and I land in Ethiopia...... how can I describe to you the people I met there?! It's funny what the world likes to describe as not important enough. I have never met people so undeserving of that title. They are amazing. Their faith blew me away, and their caring hearts humbled me.
The Christ Followers of Ethiopia will give you everything they have just because you shook their hand or entered into their home. They taught me what it means to be thankful, we in America don't even understands what gratitude is. But they did, they got what Jesus had done for them so much more than we do! They showed me what it is to value Jesus more than life. I'll give you a little example.
In one of the orphanages we visited they told us the story of a little boy who had been there. His mother came back with all the papers and said I can now take care of my son.(That never happens; most never come back.) They say okay let us go talk to him. So they tell him your mother has come back for you but he said "But my mother is a muslim and I serve Jesus now. I cannot go with her." They said alright can you tell your mother that, and he went and told his mother that...... Wow! To look at everything you have, and every child's dream there and say I'd rather have Jesus! What faith, He truly knew that Jesus is the richest treasure you can have. We honestly don't know what we have in Christ, we have no idea how valuable He is.
As we praised Jesus with them, I saw their brokeness before God and I recognized it. I realized that there really isn't that much of a difference between us. You know those war movies where all the people come from all over, from all different kind of backgrounds and cultures to stand against the present evil in front of them. The beautiful sense of unity that happens and in no other circumstances would that unity occur, except for this enemy coming against them. They are united in their fight for good. Its my favorite part of the movie. Well here I found there was this unity that rivaled any amazing war movie, all human beings are tied together in this, our need for Jesus. Our unity is so special and unbreakable because it is held together by Jesus.
One of the church elders we met on this trip told me something beauitful. We are all one body, held together by the same Spirit, and we are here for the same mission, to glorify His name. We are no different, we are all one. I saw a brief glimpse of heaven where we all cry out: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, as we all cried out together: God, You've lifted me out and I'll tell the whole world!
We saw many hard things, the poverty and living conditions were heartbreaking. We saw many who were without Christ and in desperate need of Him. There was such a deep need for love. But everywhere we went His light was shining somehow, and though, it may have come from our mouths- we only testified to the True Light. The beauty of it was we all came to share with those who were broken, lonely, and thirsty of when we had been broken, lonely, and thristy and the One who gave us everlasting water.
You see, all followers of Christ have at some point been so broken and helpless that they relized their hopelessness. You didn't have to be in a bad situation or have a horrific story. That darkness we all were in is our own sin. But when God steps in and pulls you out of the pit of your own sin, you know how undeserving you are and you feel the weight of this gift of grace being given to you.
In Luke 7:36-50, the pharisees have invited Jesus into their home and when a sinful woman hears that Jesus is in that house,she comes to Him. She brings with her ointment and starts weeping at His feet and washing them with her tears and her hair. When the pharisees saw this they were angered, "Jesus don't you know that she is a filthy sinner? And Jesus said.....
“Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”
“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
He who is forgiven much, loves much. That's all of us broken sinners. That's how grace overflows from our lives, and we cannot stop rejoicing and declaring His love to everyone. Because we have been forgiven much, we love much. That's why I love the orphan, because I was one and He adopted me. That's why I love, because He first loved me. We are all united in this grace He has given, and we will not stop shouting it to the world.
All the orphans I met could not contain their joy when you spent time with them and loved them. They did not act as if it were something they were owed, they acted as if it was something they did not deserve and it was the most precious gift they had ever received. That's is the exact picture of what we ought to look like when we see what Jesus has done for us. I have been forgiven much, so I will love much. I cannot contain my joy, or keep my heart from overflowing.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
God Cares About Even The Small Things
Gate 2B.
7:00 am.
Three hours early.
Bethel's mom walked us to our gate, gave some comforting words and hugs then walked away as we sat in the empty gate. We wanted to be early to spare our nerves but three hours was a little too early. I didn't understand the saying that silence could be loud until now. Three hours in silence is a long time to think. Even in those three hours I still could not believe that this was where God was leading me. I spent a lot of time praying and resting. Bethel tried getting sleep since we didn't sleep during the night. She stretched out on the chairs and tucked her body under the armrests. It looked so uncomfortable but she managed to get some sleep anyway.
About an hour before our flight I noticed two people wearing the same 'Defend the Orphan' shirt as us. When they sat at our gate I asked if they were on team India. Team India and team Ethiopia were having training camp together. The odds of meeting them and being able to fly to camp with them amazed me. Teams consist of people from all over the US and Canada. To be able to meet people flying out of Allentown, Pennsylvania and going to the same place was amazing.
When we landed in DC, Bethel and I stopped at the bathroom before going to baggage claim. I have to admit that I was not happy about stopping because I wanted to follow our new friends. Gods grace and mercy for my nerves amazed me when we walked out of the bathroom and found our new friends waiting for us. Praise God! We didn't tell them we were stopping and we didn't ask them to wait for us. God knew how important it was to me to be able to follow them and stay together as a group. I felt Gods love with me.
We made it to baggage claim and found more people with our shirts. We made it!
....to camp.
7:00 am.
Three hours early.
Bethel's mom walked us to our gate, gave some comforting words and hugs then walked away as we sat in the empty gate. We wanted to be early to spare our nerves but three hours was a little too early. I didn't understand the saying that silence could be loud until now. Three hours in silence is a long time to think. Even in those three hours I still could not believe that this was where God was leading me. I spent a lot of time praying and resting. Bethel tried getting sleep since we didn't sleep during the night. She stretched out on the chairs and tucked her body under the armrests. It looked so uncomfortable but she managed to get some sleep anyway.
About an hour before our flight I noticed two people wearing the same 'Defend the Orphan' shirt as us. When they sat at our gate I asked if they were on team India. Team India and team Ethiopia were having training camp together. The odds of meeting them and being able to fly to camp with them amazed me. Teams consist of people from all over the US and Canada. To be able to meet people flying out of Allentown, Pennsylvania and going to the same place was amazing.
When we landed in DC, Bethel and I stopped at the bathroom before going to baggage claim. I have to admit that I was not happy about stopping because I wanted to follow our new friends. Gods grace and mercy for my nerves amazed me when we walked out of the bathroom and found our new friends waiting for us. Praise God! We didn't tell them we were stopping and we didn't ask them to wait for us. God knew how important it was to me to be able to follow them and stay together as a group. I felt Gods love with me.
We made it to baggage claim and found more people with our shirts. We made it!
....to camp.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Orphans Invade My Heart
Hey. My name is Carrie. Yes, that is short for Caroline not Carolyn. Touchy issue. Haha. Anyway, I'm writing this blog post to share with you how Orphans have invaded my heart.
It was the summer after I graduated when God laid on my heart to be baptized. I asked Christ into my heart at a young age but it wasn't until I was about sixteen that I began a relationship with him. So at the age of eighteen I decided it was necassary to completely commit my life to Christ and live all for him. I wanted to lay down my old ways and walk with him.
I went to my pastors house to discuss the coming baptism. One of the first questions he asked me was if I liked children. I grinned because I have always loved children. Then he asked if I have ever considered missions. Many thoughts flooded my mind like: I could never do something that radical, I am not good enough for that, Only really spiritual people do those things. But I simply said, no. I dismissed the thought until....
Orphan Sunday! God pounded me that day. I was so emotional for these kids. I felt helpless and yet I knew I had to do something. I just had to! That is when it all started making sense....my love for children, Pastor Mike asking about missions, orphans. I was gonna go on a missions trip. Yes. Me. Caroline (not Carolyn). I shared the news with my new friend, Bethel. Little did I know that being exercise buddies would soon turn into a long lasting friendship. She shared with me that she, also, had a heart for missions. No way!
A month had passed when I get a message from Bethel asking me to look at this website about missions trips. I went over her house and we looked at it together. We considered which trip to choose and decided on one to Ethiopia in July. One in July would give us time to raise the money needed to go. We applied for the trip but it still didn't feel real. Was I, Carolyn, actually gonna go on a missions trip? Uh, I mean Caroline. We told our pastor and he was so excited for us.
Leading up to our departure God tested my faith on more than one occasion. Each week we got a funding update. One week, when I got my email, it said I had raised $1,000. At the bottom it said that we needed to have $200 in before next week so they could book flights. The night befor the $200 deadline I got a call from one of the directors. She left a message saying I did not have the needed funds to purchase the ticket and that if I waited too long it would get more expensive or seats would become unavailable. I called back frantically and left a message saying that I did have enough for the tickets. I tossed and turned all night waiting to hear from her again. In the morning I emailed her and, finally, at noon, I heard from her. She responded apologizing for causing worry and that the money was there. She looked at the wrong date in the system. Immediately it felt like a hundred pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I knew it was a test from God. I apologized for not leaning on him and not putting my trust in him.
Another trial came when I was sitting in church and realized that the check I mailed to World Orphans did not have my trip code on the memo line. Without my trip code the $600 I sent would go to the organization and not my trip. My heart palpitated and I broke into a sweat. Sorry Mike, but I did not listen to you that Sunday. After the service I emailed the director and told her the issue. Time could not go any slower while I waited for a response. My worry and anxiety brought me to tears. Bethel tried to comfort me and I knew that I was not trusting my savior. Eventually I had gotten an email back. My check did not arrive in Colorado yet and they said that they would keep an eye out for it and would make sure that money made it to my account.
"Okay, God! I realize that you are testing my faith. I see that I am not trusting you and I am only relying on my own strength. My strength fails me. Help me to lean on you in every trial and commit my spirit to you. I know you have a plan for my life and nothing can stop you from making your plan happen. Remind me that this is your story and not my own."
Yet again I found myself not trusting him. It was a week before all of the funds were due and I still needed almost $700. How was I supposed to get that money in a week? I wasn't going to....but God did. Through some very generous donations I got the money just in time. In these trials I doubted God and his will for me to go. But in the end He reigns and makes everything come to pass. His timing is perfect and love amazing. Just in the process of getting to this trip I grew tremendously.
Then we got to the airport in Allentown, PA............
It was the summer after I graduated when God laid on my heart to be baptized. I asked Christ into my heart at a young age but it wasn't until I was about sixteen that I began a relationship with him. So at the age of eighteen I decided it was necassary to completely commit my life to Christ and live all for him. I wanted to lay down my old ways and walk with him.
I went to my pastors house to discuss the coming baptism. One of the first questions he asked me was if I liked children. I grinned because I have always loved children. Then he asked if I have ever considered missions. Many thoughts flooded my mind like: I could never do something that radical, I am not good enough for that, Only really spiritual people do those things. But I simply said, no. I dismissed the thought until....
Orphan Sunday! God pounded me that day. I was so emotional for these kids. I felt helpless and yet I knew I had to do something. I just had to! That is when it all started making sense....my love for children, Pastor Mike asking about missions, orphans. I was gonna go on a missions trip. Yes. Me. Caroline (not Carolyn). I shared the news with my new friend, Bethel. Little did I know that being exercise buddies would soon turn into a long lasting friendship. She shared with me that she, also, had a heart for missions. No way!
A month had passed when I get a message from Bethel asking me to look at this website about missions trips. I went over her house and we looked at it together. We considered which trip to choose and decided on one to Ethiopia in July. One in July would give us time to raise the money needed to go. We applied for the trip but it still didn't feel real. Was I, Carolyn, actually gonna go on a missions trip? Uh, I mean Caroline. We told our pastor and he was so excited for us.
Leading up to our departure God tested my faith on more than one occasion. Each week we got a funding update. One week, when I got my email, it said I had raised $1,000. At the bottom it said that we needed to have $200 in before next week so they could book flights. The night befor the $200 deadline I got a call from one of the directors. She left a message saying I did not have the needed funds to purchase the ticket and that if I waited too long it would get more expensive or seats would become unavailable. I called back frantically and left a message saying that I did have enough for the tickets. I tossed and turned all night waiting to hear from her again. In the morning I emailed her and, finally, at noon, I heard from her. She responded apologizing for causing worry and that the money was there. She looked at the wrong date in the system. Immediately it felt like a hundred pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I knew it was a test from God. I apologized for not leaning on him and not putting my trust in him.
Another trial came when I was sitting in church and realized that the check I mailed to World Orphans did not have my trip code on the memo line. Without my trip code the $600 I sent would go to the organization and not my trip. My heart palpitated and I broke into a sweat. Sorry Mike, but I did not listen to you that Sunday. After the service I emailed the director and told her the issue. Time could not go any slower while I waited for a response. My worry and anxiety brought me to tears. Bethel tried to comfort me and I knew that I was not trusting my savior. Eventually I had gotten an email back. My check did not arrive in Colorado yet and they said that they would keep an eye out for it and would make sure that money made it to my account.
"Okay, God! I realize that you are testing my faith. I see that I am not trusting you and I am only relying on my own strength. My strength fails me. Help me to lean on you in every trial and commit my spirit to you. I know you have a plan for my life and nothing can stop you from making your plan happen. Remind me that this is your story and not my own."
Yet again I found myself not trusting him. It was a week before all of the funds were due and I still needed almost $700. How was I supposed to get that money in a week? I wasn't going to....but God did. Through some very generous donations I got the money just in time. In these trials I doubted God and his will for me to go. But in the end He reigns and makes everything come to pass. His timing is perfect and love amazing. Just in the process of getting to this trip I grew tremendously.
Then we got to the airport in Allentown, PA............
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